Hi all! Every so often when a piece of mine gets more attention than expected (as with last week’s, hi to the 48 new subs!), I feel the need to reintroduce myself to the new members of our community! This issue can serve as a good primer, but I wanted to take the time to expand on some of the absolutely crucial cultural moments and media that have made me who I am today — in no particular order, and sorted and elaborated upon as I see fit. I mean this so seriously that when I say from the memes to the one-liners on this list, each of these things have formed distinct grooves in my brain and impacted the way I think, laugh, write and walk through my daily life. Strap in, and prepare to reckon with what it’s like to live in my brain (a chilling thought). If something calls to you, I urge you to check it out!
“White Winter Hymnal (Fleet Foxes Cover)” by Pentatonix
There’s one thing you need to know about me, and that’s that I’m a Pentaholic. I feel that my adolescent development began at age 11, hearing their self-titled deluxe LP and feeling that there was truly something transcendent about the sounds I was absorbing. I know their catalog from front to back, I was a well-studied Scomiche historian and fervent Superfruit stan, and I will be sat in the stands for their upcoming Christmas tour.
The “‘The Royals’ on E! Network” Section
Series Finale Soundtrack: Creep (Radiohead Cover) by an unnamed children’s choir
You can read my review of my favorite TV show ever here if you’d like, but I need everyone who reads that review or heeds my recommendation to understand the sheer impact of its conclusion on me. It’s a cliffhanger that manages to answer its own questions while leaving some hanging, it soars in a lap of character development and tricky stunts, and most importantly, it ends with this gorgeous choral cover of “Creep” over the world’s most evil royal wedding ever conceived that I hear in my dreams every night without fail. When I go, I want that track to be playing.
When Elizabeth Hurley as Her Royal Majesty Helena Henstridge said, “These are shark infested waters, and those fake tits won’t keep you afloat for long.”
When Elizabeth Hurley as Her Royal Majesty Helena Henstridge said (regarding and quoting the tabloid dissemination of accidental flash photos taken of her daughter in a Paris nightclub), “The Royal Beaver.”
When Jake Maskall as Cyrus Henstridge said, “I’m giving money to charity and having my balls cut off and nobody gives a shit about me,” and committed a single Avril Lavigne-rainy-car-window tear to that take.
The birthday episode to end all birthday episodes, Season Four Episode Six. Succession who? The big fight scene over the dinner table that ends with wine being launched 20 feet across the set: perfection. It has to be seen to be believed, so please watch the first twenty minutes of this episode and believe.
Ted Pryce’s Season Two finale speech he delivers to Liam as they face off before the King’s Cup. In a moment and episode so tense with weight and suspense, this scene is so clear in revealing how Ted and Liam are so different innately but alike in motivations. Quick tempered and ready to exact revenge, Liam is finally humbled and restored to his stasis of poise and nobility. If I heard the “You’ll find that taking a life is an unbearable weight” speech, I probably would be too.
End The “‘The Royals’ on E! Network” Section Here.
“Crowded Places” by Banks.
This song takes me back to a particularly young, lonely and confused time in my life, and conjures images of snow falling in Chicago while I rode the 65 bus home. It’s resonant, visceral, and echoes with memory for me.
The Backstage Series Finale performance: The Seasons of Keaton.
Aside from the site-specific, multimedia slayage occurring here, this show was genuinely so encouraging to my aspirations as a young artist. Am I still a trina? Certainly not, but I will always have the encyclopedic knowledge of dance media.
“Are You Listening” by the Backstage Cast.
I also can’t mention this show without mentioning this song? Because a soundtrack has never worked so hard as on this show when they had 14 year olds pushing their pens to write a whole EP for a final. Mind you, the description of this track at its conception was “HAIM meets Florence + the Machine” which is everything to me, and should be everything to you too.
Dance Academy, but specifically the beach memorial scene.
Similar to Backstage, this show provides me and countless others with childlike wonder and comfort, but in its most poignant moments, also grief and loss. I have selfies in my phone of me sobbing on election night in 2020, not only because of the stress of that election but also because I had watched the beach memorial scene for the character who passed on and thus shall not be named for spoilers.
High Strung (2016) but specifically the String & Dance Competition performance.
Trouble is a Friend of Mine by Stephanie Tromly but specifically the last page in which Digby kisses Zoe at the bus stop .
Trouble Makes a Comeback by Stephanie Tromly but specifically the good old-fashioned car chase scene which is made even better by the fact that all participating parties are a motley crew of Breakfast Clubesque teenagers in upstate New York.
The general resurgence of Criminal Minds stan accounts in 2020.
I don’t think I’ve recovered from this one. I’ve seen fancams that are still engraved in my brain. People died in ship wars over fictional federal agents. Watching this happen while locked inside during a racial justice and anti-law enforcement movement was certainly…a moment in time. I’ve laid down my swords as well as my chains, and thus look back on this renaissance as an anomaly to forget.
“BLUE LIPS (lady wood phase II)” by Tove Lo.
“The Odyssey” visual album from Florence + the Machine.
This tweet.
The main pop girl alignment chart.
The IG Live Jesse Williams did where he pretended to advise a fan whilst the fan’s home was being broken into as a bit.
Goliath Season One on Prime Video.
The unfinished, resigned to internet relic status “I am Caroline Calloway” essay series.
The awful title cards in Outer Banks but specifically the one that follows the pilot opening where JJ says “That kind of initiative is just begging to be punished,” regarding the cop chasing the Pogues. It’s quintessential, like a signature.
“Jacques” by Tove Lo and Jax Jones (this was my most listened to song of 2021 which I need you to know is not an accurate representation of my year).
Celebrities reacting to awful fan art, please see below.
Acts of service from people who make abysmally bad fan art, please see below for some 5SOS examples that keep my best friends and I awake at nights in fits of tears and suffocating laughter.
Fan accounts leaving fandoms for varying unhinged reasons.
The feud/division between Hallmark Industries and GAC. Just ask me where Candace Cameron Bure was on January 6th and I’ll recount the greatest chasm in the delusional far right concept of whatever “culture war” they think they’re in right now.
The discography of Emily Montez, ascendant heir of hyper-pop.
The 5SOS Rolling Stone article. If you stanned during that time, or even if you didn’t, this was the day they were the most ran through on the most irrelevant blogs anybody had ever heard of; everybody had something to say and being a sossie suddenly became a cross to bear. People (like me) still remember this to this day, and that’s why I’m glad this was not written about me.
On that note, the song “Talk Fast - Live” by 5 Seconds of Summer.
The No H8 campaign.
“NO” by Meghan Trainor.
The Sonic Drive-In Atomic Lemonade that debuted in my middle school years and promptly vanished. I’ll never forget her as long as I live.
Thoroughbreds (2017).
The lost Banks x Tove Lo collab that was teased in the studio almost 2 years ago. The world moved on but I stayed there.
This specific live performance of “Bleach” by Ellie Goulding .
“Delirium (Deluxe) (Explicit)” by Ellie Goulding.
Victoria on PBS Masterpiece but specifically the ballroom scene (linked at about the 1:10 mark) where Albert and Victoria first dance and he cuts open his shirt to tuck away the rose she gave him.
That video of Nicholas Braun singing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” on what appears to be a MTA bus?
The Anna Delvey court style IG account.
The stunts in Uncharted (2021) but most of all, the moment when Tom Holland is fighting Bad Guys in a bar and literally spits vodka over an open flame to breath fire at them.
I mentioned this in my DWD review but it has not left my mind since, so still this video of Olivia Wilde.
Donutgate.
The implications of the Princess Switch cinematic universe, which will be getting an exclusive holiday review when the time comes.
Fergie cartwheeling on Good Morning America.
Shawn Mendes diving into the ocean.
Flesh and Bone on STARZ.
Jason Derulo falling down the MET stairs gets me every time. Without fail. Evergreen.
This Taylor Swift outfit.
My personal life mantra as seen below.
One of my favorite photoshoots to date! Veteran subscribers will remember that this image was featured in a previous issue :) Signing off on a high note, love you all!
obessed w this concept + execution. sublime.